You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
