the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
