When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
