dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
