So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
