boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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