can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
