She said her name was "party"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Someone signed my nipple.
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