I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
