every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
