I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
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I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
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I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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