What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
