If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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