i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
