Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I forget how to act sober
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
