its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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