I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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