u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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