Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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