Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
