drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I have post one night stand depression
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
