I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
