I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
