Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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