Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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