Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
