Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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