if only i could text you this smell
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
