I feel like abortions should bother me more
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We got so high we made milksteak
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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