make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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