Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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