Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
