apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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