I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
