Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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