I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
