don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
