i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
