"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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