I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
