Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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