i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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