hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I know her cup size but not her name....
The ass gains better be worth it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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