I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
this is an emotional support booty call
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
