i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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