dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We have started to decorate penises.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
