Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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