I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My ass is underappreciated
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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