screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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