they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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