She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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