i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
