That's intense
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
