p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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