so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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